I like to think this bout of homesickness as a fever with three components. 1. Another health issue rearing its ugly head. 2. Settled life in Brisbane. 3. Missing autumnal days. This multifactorial ailment is diagnosed from symptoms of missing family, friends, home, birds, a garden to tend to and autumnal landscapes. Let me walk you through what led up to this diagnosis.
The kick off to homesickness
Now, this new health issue is still being investigated, so I’m unsure how serious this is. With that foreboding sentence I’ll begin by saying I went to the optician and they discovered I’m pretty much blind in my upper peripheral vision.
Did I notice this? No, not at all. So why did I go to the optician in the first place? I woke up a couple of times with blurry vision that wouldn’t resolve for 7 hours. I thought I’d better get it checked out- I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, I won’t ignore a health issue (and you shouldn’t either).
I’m still not sure how related the morning blurriness and the peripheral blindness are. The professionals seem unphased about my temporary morning blurry vision and the height of concerned with this peripheral blindness.
Home and health
I don’t know about you but the medical recommendation to sit at the hospital to wait for an MRI and three referrals to see a retinal genetic disease specialist got me worrying. My immediate thought was to just go home and deal with this issue alongside mine and Ben’s family. It only took a quick second for me to realise this may not be taken so seriously in England, given how under pressure the NHS already is. I’d probably be better off having this investigated in Australia.
So the worries and the woes of “Will I go blind?” “How bad will this get? And how fast?” progressed to longing for family and friends back at home.
Feeling (somewhat) settled in Brisbane
I knew we’d have to work. I remember saying “I’ll do anything as long as I’m in Australia”. While I’m sure we’re all aware of the true boundaries of this statement, working as a waitress is something I’m happy to do to fund our trip around Australia.
We’ve been renting a room and working in Brisbane since mid-July and it truly does feel like a settled life compared to the daily driving and adventures in the Fiat Ducato.
The problem is, the more settled I feel, the more unsettled I feel. I didn’t come to Australia to rent and work, I came to travel and explore. Living my day to day going from home to work to home, although necessary to fund any future travel plans we have, has made me realise the only place I really want to settle is England.
Perhaps this fever has an underlying condition of the grass is always greener. But without seeing family and friends regularly, it just doesn’t feel like home home.
Autumn stole my heart
Last but not least, my favourite season is coming up in England. We left for Australia in November because how could we possibly leave during the best month in England: October. When the land sets itself ablaze in red and orange.
Leaves crunching underfoot, jumper weather, spooky evenings and hot chocolates. Don’t get me wrong, I love the sun, I really do! I’ve always run cold and it’s a burden I have to live with- but I’m an autumnal girl. I love boots and scarfs and warm teas and pumpkins, squashes, soups, all things cosy.
Perhaps in Melbourne or Adelaide I can experience an Aussie autumn, but here in Brisbane the seasons are wet and dry *eyebrows knit in dissatisfaction and displeasure*.
But this is what I wanted, isn’t it?
Travel is all about experiencing new things, including embracing displeasure, and 90% of the time I’m all for it. But at the moment we’re in that 10% where I just want a big fat slice of home with a warm pot of tea. I think that’s okay, it’s almost been a year and you’re never going to love life 100% of the time.
There will be ups and downs no matter whether you’re in England, Australia, Mumbai. But we’re going to ride it out and stay on board (as long as I can get another visa approved with this new silly health issue- if not, we’ll be home a lot sooner!).
Well, I hope where ever you are, you can appreciate this season of life, and if you find you’re struggling to do so at the moment, I’m right there in that boat with you. But it won’t last long.
That’s all from me today, have the best day everyone.
