Yes, that’s my new official title. I expect you to respect it and call me as such. Kidding aside, I absolutely smashed my DIY project for the van. It’s called ~laminate flooring~, and for a little while, it was called ~the bane of my life~.
Why replace the flooring?
For real though, it was pretty bad. A while ago the previous laminate started peeling up so we stuck some duct tape down to stop more of it flaking off (duct tape fixes everything, right?). Well I decided we can’t sell it as it was.
Removing the duct tape showed the laminate chipping off and just looked crap in general, I wasn’t having it. I wanted to take the floor out and replace it, Ben tried to convince me to just put carpet down on top- absolutely not. If there was ever anything I was certain of in my life, it was that we were not putting down carpet on the floor of this van. He conceded.
The DIY queen puts on her crown
I dropped Ben off at work, put my big girl boots on and walked into Bunnings to get our new floor, a saw and a right-angle ruler. I’d already taken measurements and figured out the area we needed to cover and added 10% of course, I’m not silly.
I carried the heavy box all by myself, opened it up and began measuring and sawing. Look, I don’t know how many 26 year olds replace flooring these days, but it was my first time. I whipped that saw out and for the life of my biceps and back muscles sawed the heck out of those mother-fudging planks of laminate. Armed with a pencil, I scrawl numbers on the planks so I know what order they need to be laid in, triple checking they all fit.
DIY queen humbly accepts her flaws
I can so do this. Then comes the first L-shape, fine, smashed it. Then the second. I’m not sure what happened but let’s say the mistakes I made resulted in me using my 10% excess and then some, having to buy another box, don’t you hate it when mistakes cost more money?
Anyway, moving on, I did it- I cut the other L shape. Not long to go. A few more planks, sweat dripping down my brow as I push and pull the saw through the laminate, shavings flying all around me, going into my water, my tea, the very air I breathe.
The DIY queen handles treason
Done. It’s done. I’m on plank 15 and the whole floor can now be covered with my hard work, sweat and determination. 3 hours of this and it’s time to start my own shift at work. A 5-hour dinner shift later, we pile in the van and Ben, while being very supportive of my laminate flooring skills so far, looks at an image of one of the L shaped planks I cut and turns to say to me “do you think it’s straight?”.
The world stops turning as I stare back into the eyes of the man I love. Waiting to see his eyes crinkle with a smile or his chest rise with laughter. Nothing. What happens next I will not divulge. I’ll allow you to be the judge of your own reactions in this specific scenario.
The DIY queen comes out on top
I remain crowned as the DIY queen (Ben can be the DIY wench in this scenario, in others he is the DIY king, but not this time).
As we began fitting the floor, we experienced something I imagine to be very common for DIY projects. There was more to rip out and replace in order to complete our task. The board at the base of our kitchen cabinets needed to come off in order to lay all the laminate planks. The baseboards needed to come out and be replaced. Anyway, we did it all. Now I’m satisfied Ben screwed in some screw loops (is that what they’re called? They look like lollipops for robots) and looped the fairy lights through and I put up the curtains I hand-sewed.
It’s satisfying to look inside and think I made the curtains, I made the cushion covers, replaced the floor. Ben has also had a big hand in the DIY, and fixing a tonne of things, but this was all about me and how great I am.
I hope you enjoyed this as much as I did. See the photos of my regal flooring on my other blog post “Our van is for sale!“
Ben requests new title for blog: “Drama Queen has a go at DIY”
Request denied by DIY queen
